It was very sweet of you to come and sit by me, thus saving me from the hostile looks and grumpy grumbles of the woman on my right. You are very friendly and I appreciate that; however, I feel I should tell you...I can't understand what you are saying. I mean, I catch bits and pieces but for the most part I just smile and say "Oh, uh-huh." This is similar to the response my 2 year-old niece gets when she breaks off mid-sentence and starts giggling "A dow dow dow dow dow." This makes me feel bad. You are not a toddler; you are a grown man. You are just a grown man with a funny accent who talks way too fast, often at inappropriate times. I mean I'd love to discuss kidnapping all the strip club owners and marooning them on a dessert island, but must we discuss it now? While I'm desperately trying to learn how to solve compound inequalities? (That will be on our test next week, by the way) Besides, all your whispering makes me feel like one of the bad girls. You know, the ones who would pass notes in Sunday School and sneak off during church to apply more lipgloss. I don't much like that feeling. So, while I am sure you have only the best of intentions, perhaps you might tone it down a little. Thanks.
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